Vista is Microsoft’s update to ME

We all remember ME Millennium Edition. The OS that was supoes to make us safe from Y2K. Heck I even bought the upgrade CD. Yes yes this was before I knew about Linux in 2002. So how did they make ME? We know it was rushed into production. Lets take DOS, Windows 98, stir in some NT, but wait hold the NTFS, add some wall papers and graphics. Now stir. Let simmer, OH WAIT NO IT’S BOILING OVER! THERE IS BLUE STUFF ALL OVER THE M$ PROGRAMMING KITCHEN! Well thats ok it still says Millennium Edition and people will need it to feel safe from Y2K.

So whats the recipe for XP? Well lets start working on Project Longhorn but keep it quiet. Shhhh. Operation Longhorn involves incorporating Linux, NT, and DOS into something we will call the Command Prompt. Lets test it out on our customers and get them to tell us whats wrong. It’s an Experimental Prototype. Lets call it XP. Ok now people can play with that and send error reports back to us. While they do that we will keep working on Project Longhorn but when it gets done we want more control over the Consumer and to be able to stop all Software Pirates.

Hey Guys Longhorn is almost ready it’s 2003! We need some kind of name for it. I know lets call the home version or Desktop version Vista. Ya thats it. Ok we have DRM and Trusted Computing built into the Kernel. The problem is we have to get all that to work with our new command prompt. Ok come on programmers make it all work. Oh shoot we can’t get the graphics to work right. Ok guys I’m feeling ambitious. Tell everyone we are working on a 3D desktop. Paint a M$ 🙂 on our outside so everyone thinks we really have something good. Ok now lets keep on going we can make this work. Wait it’s not compatible with anything? Well lets warn the hardware manufacturers and let them make new Vista compatible stuff and new drivers. We don’t have to worry about that besides we don’t even know how to make drivers.

Hey This Is The Big Hardware Corporations. We Can’t Make Drivers Work With Vista. Please Help Us!

No you don’t understand. Everyone will buy Vista you have no choice.

Ok guys lets start making these drivers but just in case look at our other software options. We can help Linux and Mac. Lets do that as well.

Ok Vista is all done. Lets release it to the public.

Here is what the consumers think about it.

One thing I didn’t include was Windows 98 and where it came from. Well here it is.

First there was DOS. DOS could and can only run one program to a time.

So they invented a program that would allow 4 programs to run inside it and it would run on DOS. They called this program Windows 286, then 386, 486, 3.1, 95, and then 98. Nothing changed. Windows was still just a program running on DOS to allow multiple programs to run on DOS.

Windows 2000, NT, and ME were the first attempts to break away from DOS. XP was the first successfull attempt after SP2. SP1 was a failure. They called the new DOS Command Line and it contained a lot of the same stuff that Linux had before XP came out.

Some people liked Windows 2000. They thought it was great. It had the command line in it and seemed to work. Little did people realize that it did not work with games very well or a lot of other applications. But it was far better than XP SP1. XP SP2 is great but Microsoft can’t keep selling XP SP2 forever.

One Response to “Vista is Microsoft’s update to ME”

  1. Wow. lol.. That’s one of the best blog posts you’ve done man. That’s hilarious.

    What you forgot to mention was in ME, they attempted to remove the need for DOS, which caused the memory leak problem (i.e. when closing a program, the memory was not freed up for use, thus causing virtual memory to be used……… yeah……. I upgraded my first computer, an HP Pavilion N5310….. to 98SE…. much better….. that was before I was ready to ditch Microsoft Windows for good).

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