Archive for October, 2007

Vista is Microsoft’s update to ME

Monday, October 1st, 2007

We all remember ME Millennium Edition. The OS that was supoes to make us safe from Y2K. Heck I even bought the upgrade CD. Yes yes this was before I knew about Linux in 2002. So how did they make ME? We know it was rushed into production. Lets take DOS, Windows 98, stir in some NT, but wait hold the NTFS, add some wall papers and graphics. Now stir. Let simmer, OH WAIT NO IT’S BOILING OVER! THERE IS BLUE STUFF ALL OVER THE M$ PROGRAMMING KITCHEN! Well thats ok it still says Millennium Edition and people will need it to feel safe from Y2K.

So whats the recipe for XP? Well lets start working on Project Longhorn but keep it quiet. Shhhh. Operation Longhorn involves incorporating Linux, NT, and DOS into something we will call the Command Prompt. Lets test it out on our customers and get them to tell us whats wrong. It’s an Experimental Prototype. Lets call it XP. Ok now people can play with that and send error reports back to us. While they do that we will keep working on Project Longhorn but when it gets done we want more control over the Consumer and to be able to stop all Software Pirates.

Hey Guys Longhorn is almost ready it’s 2003! We need some kind of name for it. I know lets call the home version or Desktop version Vista. Ya thats it. Ok we have DRM and Trusted Computing built into the Kernel. The problem is we have to get all that to work with our new command prompt. Ok come on programmers make it all work. Oh shoot we can’t get the graphics to work right. Ok guys I’m feeling ambitious. Tell everyone we are working on a 3D desktop. Paint a M$ 🙂 on our outside so everyone thinks we really have something good. Ok now lets keep on going we can make this work. Wait it’s not compatible with anything? Well lets warn the hardware manufacturers and let them make new Vista compatible stuff and new drivers. We don’t have to worry about that besides we don’t even know how to make drivers.

Hey This Is The Big Hardware Corporations. We Can’t Make Drivers Work With Vista. Please Help Us!

No you don’t understand. Everyone will buy Vista you have no choice.

Ok guys lets start making these drivers but just in case look at our other software options. We can help Linux and Mac. Lets do that as well.

Ok Vista is all done. Lets release it to the public.

Here is what the consumers think about it.

One thing I didn’t include was Windows 98 and where it came from. Well here it is.

First there was DOS. DOS could and can only run one program to a time.

So they invented a program that would allow 4 programs to run inside it and it would run on DOS. They called this program Windows 286, then 386, 486, 3.1, 95, and then 98. Nothing changed. Windows was still just a program running on DOS to allow multiple programs to run on DOS.

Windows 2000, NT, and ME were the first attempts to break away from DOS. XP was the first successfull attempt after SP2. SP1 was a failure. They called the new DOS Command Line and it contained a lot of the same stuff that Linux had before XP came out.

Some people liked Windows 2000. They thought it was great. It had the command line in it and seemed to work. Little did people realize that it did not work with games very well or a lot of other applications. But it was far better than XP SP1. XP SP2 is great but Microsoft can’t keep selling XP SP2 forever.

Komputers4Kids Needs Your Help Again.

Monday, October 1st, 2007

The good news: helios and all his friends in Texas are about to get some computers for underprivileged school children.

The bad news: Shipping, or the lack thereof.

That’s why they need your help in getting funding for shipping costs.  Also, Time Warner, the provider for high speed Internet can no longer give out Internet access at no fee to those same kids.  The price negotiated has been $10 per month.  Some families can put it in their budget, but others can not.

Here’s how you can help.

Go to the Lobby4Linux website and look for the blue BuckAMonth logo.  Donate as much as you can and as often as you can.

2nd Issue Coming Soon.

Monday, October 1st, 2007

The 2nd Issue of THE *NIXED REPORT will be published online very soon along with the next episode of *NIXED TV, in which a separate page will be built for it.  I’m looking forward to entertaining, educating, and empowering everyone.  Stay tuned.